Advanced Tricks Of The Trade

Wedding Coordinator

2008-01-18T18:18:00.001-08:00

People’s fingers swell when they get nervous. So, when exchanging rings, tell couples to only slide the ring up to the first knuckle and let the other person push it up the rest of the way. Otherwise you run the risk of the groom breaking his bride’s finger in the middle of the ceremony.

Waitress

2008-01-17T14:03:00.000-08:00

When you realize you have forgotten to submit an order to the kitchen, go to the table and mournfully say, “Did you just hear that crash?” Nine times out of 10, the customers not only will say “yes,” but actually will believe they just heard a noise of some sort. You can then sigh sadly, and say, “Unfortunately, that was the chef dropping your food,” and then scurry back to the kitchen to hand in the neglected order.

Technical Support

2008-01-16T16:44:00.001-08:00

When helping someone fix their computer over the phone, and you want them to see if all the cables are plugged in correctly, don’t ask, “Have you checked to see if the cable is plugged in?” because the customer will always say, “Of course I did, do you think I’m a moron?” Instead say, “Remove the cable, blow the dust out of the connector, and plug it back in.” The customer will most likely reply, “Hey, it’s working now—I guess that dust really builds up in there!”

Street Performer

2008-01-14T15:44:00.000-08:00

In street performance, it’s possible to make money without really knowing how to play your instrument. You can pick up a cheap accordion at a thrift store and simply make stuff up on the street corner. Most people usually won’t stick around and listen for long if you are on a sidewalk where there’s little room to stand, and you can play the same thing over and over and still make money.

Software Tester

2008-01-11T11:37:00.000-08:00

Because developers don’t expect testers to read through their code, doing so is a quick and easy way to find possible bugs. Look for comments like “// HACK” or “// fix this crap later.”

Proofreader

2008-01-10T22:17:00.000-08:00

If you’re reading too fast, your brain can “correct” typos, preventing you from catching them. That’s why it’s sometimes a good idea to read a page upside-down. It forces you to pay closer attention to individual words out of context, and you can’t race through pages too fast.

Piano Salesman

2008-01-09T05:22:00.001-08:00

If you see a potential customer eyeing a piano, estimate their age and calculate what year it was when they were 18 years old. Play a big hit from that year on the piano they’re looking at. With a lot of preparation and a little luck, you might play the exact song they were listening to when they lost their virginity, got married, or drove their first car. The emotional resonance will overcome sales resistance and even open their wallets to a more expensive piano.

Photographer

2008-01-08T12:17:00.000-08:00

When taking family portraits that include a dog, don’t use the dog’s name or say “doggie, doggie” to get its attention, because it might trot over to you. Instead, call out “kitty, kitty, kitty.” The dog will perk up and look around for a cat, and you can get a great shot if you time it right.

Paramedic

2008-01-07T12:03:00.001-08:00

When paramedics arrive at a car crash or similar accident, they very, very rarely announce any casualties at the scene—almost all deceased will be pronounced “dead on arrival” at the hospital. This is because it involves about 10 times more paperwork to announce someone dead right in situ than it does to say they expired in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

Nurse

2008-01-06T15:57:00.000-08:00

Patients will occasionally pretend to be unconscious. A surefire way to find them out is to pick up their hand, hold it above their face, and let go. If they smack themselves, they’re most likely unconscious; if not, they’re faking.

Mechanic

2008-01-05T12:03:00.001-08:00

If you have to change a light bulb where the glass is broken, you can press a potato into the metal base to unscrew the remains of the bulb from the fixture.

Lounge Pianist

2008-01-04T16:58:00.000-08:00

Never agree to Christmas sing-alongs if there is alcohol involved. Your singer will only remember the first two lines of his favorite tunes, or you’ll waste a half-hour on a drawn-out, stumbling, “12 Days of Christmas.” The singer will be forgiven when he sobers up, but you’ll look unprofessional.

Landscape Architect

2008-01-03T22:37:00.000-08:00

You will often have to create a large presentation for clients, and will spend hours coloring in landscape illustrations with markers. But if you say the drawings are “rendered” rather than “colored,” you can charge four times as much.

Cartographer

2008-01-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

Mapmakers will often use “copyright traps,” bits of information in their maps that are purposefully wrong. They might label a body of water “Lake Strongbad,” for instance, and then examine the next editions of competitors’ maps to see if the incorrect information makes an appearance.

Auto Mechanic

2008-01-01T22:21:00.000-08:00

Always put copper grease on the battery terminals after servicing a car. The performance benefit is negligible, but when customers look under the hood they will immediately see that something’s changed and thus feel happy to pay you.

Actor

2007-12-31T06:36:00.000-08:00

Every actor eventually is called upon to act drunk. Most do this by slurring their speech, stumbling around, and perhaps drooling a bit. This is what a freshman drama teacher calls “indicating.” A better way to appear drunk is to act very, very sober. Walk very carefully, and try not to let anyone see that you’re inebriated. This is much more subtle and will register on a level the audience won’t immediately recognize.

Cardboard Box Flattener

2007-12-29T09:46:00.000-08:00

When hitting the sealed bottom of a cardboard box to flatten it, do not punch it with your knuckles like you’re boxing—that will start to hurt real quick. Instead, strike it with the bottom of your fist, as if your hand were a gavel.

Botanist

2007-12-28T21:42:00.000-08:00

When working in the field, stick a strip of duct tape to your pants. You can take it off while working to quickly remove large masses of ticks, biting ants, and thorns. If you know the length of each of your fingers as well as your handbreadth in centimeters, you can measure the leaves of most plants without having to pull the ruler out of your backpack. And when doing botanical work in South America, steer clear of the monkeys: They will throw sticks at you with surprising accuracy.

Attorney

2007-12-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

Do whatever it takes to fit your contracts onto a single page: Format with single-spacing, use a 10- or 9-point font, and reduce the margins to less than an inch. Most people assume any contract that fits on one page will be simple and straightforward, and even sophisticated negotiators can be charmed by the lack of a staple.

Jeweler

2007-12-26T05:37:00.001-08:00

When setting a semiprecious gem, set a tiny piece of silver or gold foil behind it to make it sparkle.Also, because most stones are pretty irregular (being stones and all), fill the base of the setting with sawdust so the stone will set evenly.

Graphic Designer

2007-12-25T10:28:00.000-08:00

If you have a client who is unable to approve a proposed design without putting her stamp on it, just put an obvious error in the proposal: a logo that’s too large, a font that’s too small, or a few judiciously seeded typos. The client requests the change and feels she’s done her part—and your design, which was perfect all along, sails through to approval.

Forester

2007-12-24T08:55:00.000-08:00

Never walk behind another person in the woods, because yellow jackets build their nests underground. The first person in line will disturb the nest when they walk over it, but it’s the poor suckers trailing behind who catch the wrath of the stirred-up bees. You can generally tell the more experienced forester in the group because he’ll be the one in the lead.The senior forester also will be the one either driving the truck or sitting in the middle seat; it’s the guy who’s riding “shotgun” who has to get out to open and close every gate they encounter.

Desktop Support

2007-12-23T10:03:00.000-08:00

When desktop support technicians resolve a ticket, they are usually required to document the cause and solution to the problem. Supervisors see these records, so you have to be professional, but can usually get away with using the acronym “PEBKAC” in situations where the user caused the initial problem. PEBKAC stands for “Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair.”

Clarinetist

2007-12-22T19:57:00.000-08:00

Clarinetists in orchestras often need to swap between a clarinet in the key of B-flat and one in the key of A right in the middle of a piece—with only about two seconds to spare. To do this they must yank the mouthpiece off the instrument they’re playing, grab the other clarinet from its stand, shove the mouthpiece onto the new clarinet, and drop the other one onto the stand. Worse, clarinets are black, clarinet stands are black, and this maneuver is usually done in the darkness of a concert hall. So what many clarinetists do to know which clarinet they’re holding is place a piece of blue painter’s tape on the back of one, or use thumb rests of different colors. And to help aim for the clarinet stand, some paint theirs with glow-in-the-dark paint.

Balloon-Twister

2007-12-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

When you’re twisting balloons for children, never tell them what you’re making. The majority of the finished products—despite your best attempts—almost always look like a dog, a blastula, or something vaguely phallic. If you identify what you’re actually attempting to make, the children will respond to your finished product with, “That doesn’t look like a [insert animal name]…” But if you make the animals and then ask, “What does it look like to you?” the child’s imagination will take over, turning the blue, four-legged balloon into Blue from Blue’s Clues, the blastula into a Pokemon, and the phallic object into an elephant. You’ll also get bonus points because you were so cool for making exactly what they wanted.

Juggler

2007-12-20T09:28:00.000-08:00

With any routine under seven minutes (which is almost all of them), you only really need one thing: a good closer. And there are only two things you really need to know about a great closer. First, it needs to be impressive. That sounds obvious, but most beginning jugglers think “difficult” and “impressive” are synonymous. Your closer must look hard, but there’s no real reason it has to be hard. Secondly, you should intentionally blow your closer on the first two tries. If you get it on the first try it looks too easy, but if you “miss” it a few times it looks harder and builds tension.

Massage Therapist

2007-12-18T22:00:00.000-08:00

In massage, properly orienting the top sheet over the client is referred to as “draping.” To keep female clients from having their breasts exposed while draping them for an abdominal massage, start with the client face up with the top sheet fully covering her from the neck down. Now, put a pillowcase over her neck, rumpled up. Pinching the pillowcase and sheet together, pull both down, with the pillowcase unraveling and trailing the sheet down the client’s body. Once the pillowcase has covered the breasts, leave it behind and continue with only the sheet until her abdomen is exposed. Tuck in pillowcase and sheet, and voila!

Newspaper Headline Writer

2007-12-17T22:16:00.000-08:00

If you can’t think of a headline for a story, use one of these three magic verbs: “weighs,” “mulls,” or “considers.” They’ll work for pretty much anything from court stories (“Hamilton mulls plea deal”) to government stories (“Governor weighs Paseo extension”) to entertainment (“Colvin considers new album”) to features (“Benson mulls those who consider weighing Kasey’s artwork”).

Sharpening Houshold Scissors

2007-08-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

When sharpening household scissors you need to find some tinfoil. fold a sheet of foil in half then fold again. Start cutting the tinfoil with your scissors going in a diagonal motion and this will do the trick!

Cutting A Water Garden

2006-01-16T22:35:00.000-08:00

How do you cut a water garden you ask? The phrase "cutting a water garden" means forming the shape and shelves of a water garden to fit either a pre-formed pond or Rubber liner inlaid to the shape you cut in the ground. Everybody loves a beautiful landscape with a slate rock waterfall that empties into a pond right? Building a water garden can be a little easier when you get your pond formed with good accuracy for proper drainage with your water pump for circulation and to help the waterfall flow. The trick of this trade is too use a spade shovel for accurate cuts to form the shelves for good 90 degree angles so plants will not slide off and as well for the trench for the hose and electric cord for the pump that sits at the bottom of your pond. One other little trick of the trade is to prevent leaks from your pond around the waterfall, fill the cracks with a waterproof foam sealant sold at any Home Depot. Share your Advanced Trick of this Trade!

Putting turkeys to bed

2006-01-09T23:34:00.000-08:00

I have been giving tricks of the trade for hunting here a bit on this blog because I used to do a lot of hunting in my younger day in the greater Catskill mountains of NY. I really enjoyed turkey hunting for the challenge of the game. I had become an advid turkey caller with box calls and mouth reeds learning the different calls to lure the turkeys closer for my clean shot. My stepfather had taught me about the keen eyesight of turkeys and how to make little movement and to blend in with the environment for a better hunt. When it came to turkey hunting he taught me one trick of this trade of putting turkeys to bed. Turkeys have great eyesight and they could see you coming a mile away in the morning as turkeys sleep in trees at night from predators. The night before the turkey hunt you want to go out with an Owl hooter and make some noise just before dusk. Owls are predators of the turkeys young and when they here owls they gobble to alert other turkeys and their young to the present of danger. This way you know about where the turkeys will spend the night roosting and you can go out in the morning and sit a few yard away and use your call without little movement to alerting the turkeys of your location and have a better hunt. Share your Tricks of this Trade!

Squirrel Hunting

2005-12-25T23:15:00.000-08:00

Squirrel Hunting seems to be easy, but when you are out in the woods hunting them it can be a challenging task at hand. Squirrels are smart little animals that warn other squirrels of present danger, however a squirrel has one flaw that usually kills it and that is Curiosity. When hunting squirrels they have such small bodies that you risk losing much of the meat to the pellets from a shotgun. Squirrels run around trees and stay pretty hidden to you, so of course when you circle the tree the squirrel happens to always be on the opposite side. The trick here is to stop where you are when you have spotted the squirrel. Let the squirrels curiosity get ahold of it and the squirrel will peak its head around the side of the tree to see what you are doing, this is when you want to take the shot without worry of spoiling the meat with buck shot as your pellets most likely will not penetrate the tree. Share your Trick of this Trade!

Finding North Direction

2005-12-24T23:21:00.000-08:00

For thousands of years you hear about navigation by the stars and how you can pick a point in the horizon to follow a straight line and not go in circles to find your way in the world. What if it is cloudy at night or there is a dense fog and you cannot see the stars or pick a landmark on the horizon and of course you don't have a compass too top it off. How can you find the direction of North, South, East and West? Wherever you live even in the desert in the right conditions there is usually some kind off Moss growing about in some shade. Moss always grows away from the sun. As we know the sun always rises in the east and sets in the west. If you happen to become lost or you would like to know what direction you are heading, look for some moss behind a tree or near some damp place. Moss always points north. Share your Trick of this Trade!

Perfect Cocktails

2005-12-24T02:31:00.000-08:00

Have you wondered how bartenders usually make a great drink. Some of them take Mixology courses and some have just learned over the years by watching and using the right Liquors, toppers, and cordials. In order to make the drink taste pleasant and not to over powering or to weak, there is one key factor in making sure you get the amount of the right part into the mixture . If you look at the liquor bottles displayed at bars and clubs you notice spouts on top of the bottles called Pourers. These Drink Pourers stream alcohol into a glass or tumbler at a controlled rate as its mouth is a tiny opening at the end of the Pourer. Usually when making a cocktail the main part of the drink or the body should have a count of 3 and the secondary or topper mixture should have a 1 or 2 count. When you make your next cocktail try counting at a short even pace and this should aid you into making and serving a perfect cocktail. Share your Trick of this Trade!

Wild Goose Hunting

2005-12-22T00:12:00.000-08:00

Hunting always seem to involve some kind of strategy, of course if you want to be a good hunter you must know about the details and how wild game live their life, such as Eating habits, Mating, where they sleep and where they go during the change of seasons. These are just a few things that should put you on the right track to be a good sportsman hunter, but are you a good marksman when it comes to the pinnacle point of a hunt? Can you bring down your game with ease, depending on the distance and the weapon of choice? When I used to Goose hunt in upstate NY my stepfather would teach me about the decoys and the blinds to cover us, and we even had Goose calls to entice them to land at our pond, or field we were in at the time. When we would see geese come our way and we enticed them too land, my stepfather would tell me too wait until their descent between 50 and 100 feet in the air too shoot. I used a 12 gauge shotgun at the time, and said why? He said "that is when geese are on their descent, they lock their wings and cannot fly off until they land", So from then on I always waited to shoot a Goose just before they landed assuring I was not going to just injure the bird, but to have a good meal in the future! Share your Trick of this Trade!

Problems with credit card reader terminals

2005-12-21T01:37:00.000-08:00

Where places of commerce is done, you are sure to find a credit card terminal at a (POS) point of sale register. Sometimes credit cards, when swiped the reader has a hard time processing it due to the cards age, every day normal wear and tear or the strip on the back of the credit cards becomes stripped of its coding due to contact with magnetized surfaces. To help with the credit card reader problem, take a small plastic bag for example a convenience store bag or walmart bag and place the credit card inside it snug against one of the two corners. Tightly pull the bag as if you were trying to push through it with the credit card. Take the card firmly in hand and swipe the card wile it is still in the plastic bag. The card should read the first swipe. I have used this Trick of the Trade at many terminals and has worked every time unless the credit card was physically damaged. Share your Trick of this Trade!

Coyote Hunting

2005-12-20T02:29:00.000-08:00

I remember in my teenage years of hunting year round in upstate NY There were always a season for some kind of game hunting. My family and I used to hunt for just about everything, and the rule was if you shot it you ate it. This rule did not stick to coyote hunting. Coyote's were considered a nuisance to our dear population, and they also robbed us of our small farm animals and traps we had set in the wild. Coyote's have a good sense of sight and smell. They will tire out their pray and track them down. Coyote's are cautious and smart as well. Hunting coyote's has always been a challenge to hunters. When out hunting for coyote's it is a good idea to wear some human cover up scent, and sit at the base of a tree overlooking a meadow or a trail that is known to be traveled by animals. You need a clear view of sight with nothing obstructing your view. Coyote's usually see you first and can spot your movement from quite a distance away. One way to overcome them seeing you is to where a camouflage of the same covering or your surroundings. Since most coyote hunting is is done in the winter time, take a white sheet and cut a hole in the middle of it for your head so you can blend in with the snow, since coyote's see only in back and white you will blend nicely with a wintery landscape! Share your Trick of this Trade!

Waterproof a Lean-to

2005-12-19T12:30:00.000-08:00

In Boy Scouts you learn hot to live out in the wilderness, then you earn your Wilderness Survival Merit Badge. Part of the wilderness survival training these boy scouts learn is how to build a Lean-to for shelter from the elements of the wilderness. If you are out in the wilderness or just building a lean-to for fun the weather conditions can cause a shelter fail if not properly built. Rain can cause a lean-to to get wet in the inside as well. Prevention of this is simple. Moss if available that grows on every north side of a tree or rock is waterproof. If you can find enough of it, this will help in keeping your lean-to dry on the inside, however it can be heavy so make sure your lean-to is built with strong wood from the forest and is not rotted. Share your Trick of this Trade!

Unclogging Pipes

2005-12-18T02:57:00.000-08:00

When unclogging Drain pipes, I always used too use draino or some other kind of powerful chemical to restore them to working order. Lately when the shower has been plugged up, we have been using a "Drain Blaster" aka "Dog Prick". This Dog Prick comes in different widths depending on the size of the pipes you want to unclog. Fit the dog prick on the end of a garden hose, and slide it into the opening of the pipe you want to unclog. The prick will swell up creating a tight fit in the pipe so it wont shoot back out of the pipe caused by the pressure of the shooting stream of water. I have not had a Dog Prick fail in unclogging a pipe. Share your Trick of this Trade!

Preventing Quick grabs from thieves.

2005-12-15T02:09:00.000-08:00

Do you own a retail shop or work at a store where there is shoplifting occurring at a regular basis. Retail locations in good and bad neighborhoods have this problem all around the world. Here is a simple trick of the trade to help cut down on some of the shoplifting or quick grabs. Retail locations that may have displays on the sidewalk or close to the front of exits are of course more prone to losing merchandise to would be thieves. One trick of the trade for displays that include clothing racks is to alternate the hangers for every other piece of clothing. Alternating hangers by hanging them on the rack one pointing towards the inside of a bar-pole and the next pointing away from the bar-pole. This way if a thieve was to try and grab an armfuls of clothing or products they would get away with little or none as the hangers act as a locking device when grabbed and pulled quickly. Share your trick of this trade!

Paper feed on cash registers

2005-12-15T01:01:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had to replace the register paper in POS terminal at a job you are working at? When you tare off the paper at the start of a new roll, sometimes the paper does not always cut in a straight line across and this makes it difficult to feed the paper through to the top of the register. There is a simple trick of the trade to help with this problem when you are not so perfect at ripping paper in a straight line. If the paper comes out in jagged edges or in any uneven manner, just fold the part you are attempting to feed through in a arrow fashion with the tip of course being the pointing end in first then feed away and this should resolve the problem of having paper feed problems with some cash registers. Share your Simple or Advanced trick of this trade!